I've Decided To Become A Down-To-Earth People Person by David Fischer
Copyright (C) 1998 David Fischer


I've Decided To Become A Down-To-Earth People Person,
Right After I Finish Constructing My H-Bomb.

People are friendly, people are nice.
I'd like to pick them up to cuddle, 
Like fuzzy little mice.
But they're too big, or I'm too small,
and they like to talk and follow all
sorts of weird protocols for social interaction,
and they're really not very fuzzy.
I'll just stick to my H-Bomb for now.
I covered it with velvet, it feels so nice!
And it's on a wheeled cart,
So I can push it around my basement.
Vroom, vroom!
What fun we have,
My H-Bomb and me.
But I can't take it for walks outside.
Because people would stare.
And the police would come.
Because I'm not supposed to have
My very own H-Bomb.
The world will be a better place
After I kill everyone 
With my H-Bomb.
There won't be war or poverty or advertizements.
There won't be pain or suffering or loss.
There won't be betrayal or deception or lies.
Just nice quiet parks.
And beautifull sunsets.
I want to bring enlightenment to the entire world.
I want to fill the darkest streets and jungles 
With a bright white cleansing light.
I want to initiate a fusion reaction
That will consume all of the hydrogen
In the Earth's oceans.
Is this really too much to ask for?