Star Wars #2 - Attack of the Clones

Star Wars #2 - a review by Dave Fischer

This is, without a doubt, one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Even the clever Lavern & Shirley references could not compensate for the complete lack of plot cohesion. I'm sorry, but images of HUNCHBACKED DWARVES receiving massages from STRIPPPERS (let's be honest here) does not convince me that the Jedi order is ANCIENT and MYSTERIOUS!

Every scene in this movie seems to alternate between trying to explain the already painfully obvious implications of the initial plot twist, or trying desperately to tie it in with the original Star Wars which this is supposed to lead up to. Horribly stilted acting, dialogue bordering on the moronic, and a completely unnecessary character in the part of the wookie skate punk, that makes even Jar-Jar look palateable!

The spaceship dog-fight, the mainstay of any crappy sci-fi... crap, couldn't even save this movie. The guest appearence of a ship full of Ceylons was the only entertaining bit, and even that was stupid, if you really think about it.

Overall, the best of the Star Wars series to date, but not yet good enough that it could be shown to prisoners of war without running afoul of the Geneva Convention.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

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